The Unauthorized Sports Authority

A Sports Writing Career is Born! (sort of)

benyamen — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 16:30:37 +0000

Well I may not be famous yet for my sports opinions and this blog may only get two hits a week in high season, but today my sports writing career began in earnest. That’s right, the folks at the NBC sports MLB blog decided to post and answer one of my questions. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure not to forget the little people who made all this possible.

Pssst … look for the question from @benyamen (that’s me):

Everyone liked me taking questions from Twitter last week — it was the most-viewed HBT Daily yet — that we decided to do it again. [nbcsports_video src=http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/33399756 service=msnbc width=420 height=245 fv=launch=42681149&width=420&height=245] … Read More

via HardballTalk

10 Reasons the Seahawks will lose to the Bears

benyamen — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 05:08:21 +0000

With the first week of the NFL playoffs finished and the Bears now knowing who their playoff opponent will be coming off their bye week, I give you the ten reasons that the Bears will prevail against the Seattle Seahawks this coming Sunday afternoon. This list is especially for you Mitchell Blair and Jared Goertzen. Enjoy your ill-earned week of joy and jubilation before the kleenexes get broken out in a weeks time. So without further ado, the list:

10. The Seahawks went 7-9 in the worst division in NFL history while the Bears went 11-5 in a division that sent two teams to the playoffs.

9. The Saints lost because of a banged up and aging secondary and overwhelming crowd noise in Qwest Field. Neither of these things will be an issue for the Bears on Sunday.

8. It is not possible for the Bears to go 0-13 on third down again as happened in their first meeting. Since that game their 3rd down efficiency has climbed dramatically with a more balanced attack.

7. The Bears have fixed their offensive line woes since the first meeting with the Seahawks and have given up far fewer sacks since the embarassing losses to Seattle and Washington. Ugh.

6. The Seahawks are going to have to cross two time zones to get there instead of having the team have to cross three to get to them. Matt Hasselbeck would barely be drinking his first cup of coffee when he’ll be getting swallowed up by Julius Peppers.

5. The Seahawks will not be playing in the mirror image amphitheaters that make up Qwest Field in Seattle.

4. The liberal media won’t allow someone related to Elizabeth Hasselbeck that kind of positive attention two weeks in a row.

3. The Detroit Lions previously cut their #1 receiver (Mike Williams). Even Matt Millen knew this guy was unreliable.

2. The NFL won’t let a man with as many child support payments to make as Marshawn Lynch has tarnish their image in a Superbowl week.

1. We’ve seen this confident group before (make sure the volume is up enough to hear Hasselbeck’s famous last words):

P.S. – If you really want the Seahawks side of things I’m sure you’ll find all kinds of tin-foil hat crowd type Seahawks hype over the Mitchell Blair’s blog. Sad really.

Does this make me a bad person?

benyamen — Wed, 26 May 2010 02:30:22 +0000

With my family gone to visit family for a couple days, I got to sit down tonight and watch almost an entire Red Sox game from start to finish . . . live and in real-time! Of course, being the tech expert geek that I am, I watched the game through my PS3 while following the Rays v Red Sox twitter feed on my MLB.tv account.

Having publicized my acceptance of the Red Sox likely mediocre season about a week and a half ago, I’ve been more than excited to see their recent win streak since that time. Making it even more fun was that the Rays fans on twitter seemed to almost unanimously blame the umpire for their loss as opposed to their own poor play. That led to this “conversation” tonight with a random Rays fan over twitter:

Me: Thinking it’s funny how all the #Rays fans want to blame the ref instead of their inferior team for the loss tonight. #redsox v #rays 19 minutes ago via Live Game Tweets on MLB.com

@benyamen What place is this inferior team in? 15 minutes ago via web in reply to benyamen

Me: @mike3490 This inferior team claims to be in Tampa, but only St. Pete will have them. 14 minutes ago via API in reply to mike3490

(Understand although they are called the Tampa Bay Rays, they actually play our of St. Petersburgh, much like the NY Jets play out of New Jersey. Go Figure.)

· RT @benyamen @mike3490 This inferior team claims to be in Tampa, but only St. Pete will have them. 8 minutes ago via web

Me: @mike3490 Sorry about that. They place they’re in is called the Trop. It’s an empty shack that so called #Rays fans avoid like the plague. 7 minutes ago via API in reply to mike3490

@benyamen Good lord. In the STANDINGS. 1st place, right? 4 minutes ago via web in reply to benyamen

I have to admit that this conversation left me feeling almost as giddy as the Red Sox two wins in a row against their rivals the Rays. And mostly because this gentleman – who I’m sure is a fine upstanding human being even if he does cheer for the Rays – seemed completely oblivious to the fact I was purposely evading his question just to mock his team. I let it go at this point simply because I ran out of ideas to be evasive with. Of course I knew he wanted me to admit my Red Sox are three spots below them in the standings, but that would only rain on my parade.

Does this make me a bad person, or just a fan enjoying giving another fan a well-intentioned ribbing? Either way, it made my evening just a little more enjoyable despite the absence of my family.

Swinging for the Fences

benyamen — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 05:58:23 +0000

I guess this will be a few football related posts all in a row now. Not that there’s anything wrong with that I guess, it’s just never been the be all and end all from what I’ve done in the past. I’d wager a guess that’s what’s being posted right now because the start of NFL free agency a couple minutes ago, and the beginning of another baseball season – thanks for the subscription to MLB.TV family – is about all that’s keeping me sane right now.

That being said, my expectations for my Bears are pretty low going into the season, but with the rumors flying around online as lately as just a couple minutes ago with a real chance of Julius Peppers, Chester Taylor, and Antrelle Rolle all winding up in Chicago within the next week, my hopes are at least a little higher. Adding two pro-bowl defensive players and a solid complimentary RB would go a long way to fixing this team if they can manage to scrounge up a mediocre offensive linemen or two. At least the advent of free-agency brings hope to one area of my life. I know Peppers has had motivation issues before, Rolle has had injury problems and Chester is no one’s saviour, but any kind of talent is better than no talent at all. Here’s to hoping reality doesn’t come crashing down all around my Bears related dreams!

UPDATE:

Well, it’s official . . . the Bears got two out of three on my wish list in Peppers and Taylor. Whether you like them much or not or even if you think they over-payed for them you have to at least admit they are a better team today than they were yesterday.

Superbowl Fail

benyamen — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 21:11:43 +0000

see more deMotivational Posters

This certainly made my Superbowl Sunday. In lieu of niether Bears being there or Favre being there, I’m cheering for Peyton Manning. Go Colts and Not-Favres!

I Like Mike

benyamen — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 06:31:05 +0000

The Bears had an awful season this year despite high hopes with a franchise QB in the fold for the first time in fifty years, but despite that they’ve made very few changes. In fact the only real change they made has probably got them more flack in the Chicago media than any of the non-changes they didn’t make, that being the hiring of Mad Mike Martz as the offensive co-ordinator. I’m a regular listener of the Boers and Bernstein Show on 670 The Score in Chicago and they’ve absolutely been tearing the Bears a new one ever since the hire.

I for one, maybe the only one, think it’s a great move. The guy won a Superbowl as a head coach and after he was done making all-stars out of junkyard scraps like Az-Zahir Hakim, Kurt Warner, and Marc Bulger in STL he went to DET of all places and turned Jon Kitna and Mike Furrey into a combo that looked like Montana to Rice. He’s always coached up QB’s and turned otherwise anaemic players into contributors and that sounds pretty much exactly like what the Bears offence was this past season. I’m not saying they’re Superbowl bound in 2010. I’m not saying they’re making the playoffs. I’m not even saying that they’ll be good enough for Martz to keep his job, but at least they’re trying something with a guy who’s proven he knows how to design a highly potent offence and can work with QB’s who throw INT”s and still win football games.

And with that, it’s time for some sleep. Hopefully to dream of a Bears Superbowl next year as I get ready to cheer for the Colts in this one.

Roll On!

benyamen — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 04:38:38 +0000

I had a feeling that it was bound to happen eventually and now the time is finally here. I’m taking up skateboarding again! Now I know talked about possibly doing this last year, but now the wheels have already been set rolling towards this end. I wasn’t really planning on it, but when the opportunity to be one of the first riders for Poetic Industries today I just couldn’t say no. The decks aren’t technically a public offering yet, but I’ve posted a picture of what it will likely look like when I get it.

As I’ve admitted before, my first foray into the world of skateboarding was painful, disastrous, bloody and humiliating . . . although I thoroughly enjoyed all of it. This time I expect it will be similar but I’ll be eight years older. My goal is that before I hit thirty I will feel confident in riding my board and be able to pull a consistantly solid ollie. I don’t think this is dreaming to high, and if anything it may be setting the bar too low, but it’s what I’m working for.

You may be thinking, “Why Ben? Why now? What are you thinking?” Well, it comes down to the fact that I’ve made a decision over the past few months that I’m tired of dreaming about things I could do or worrying about what people might think and instead I’m just going to start working towards my goals and just being an authentic version of me. Family, friends, acquaintances, and strangers may take it as they will. I really want to be able to take on this challenge while I’m still in my “prime” before my body starts to legitimately let me down. Also, buying this deck will be supporting my good friend Daryl and his design company and that’s always a positive motivator.

So for those of you who are in Swiftyvillerton if you see a blood splatter on the sidewalk it might be mine, if you see a really big kid in the skatepark it may be me, and if you see an ambulance drive by say a prayer for me. I’m not giving up this time. I’ll post pictures of the deck and my riding exploits as they become available.

BTW for those of you who ride and are reading this: do you have any suggestions as to what I should look at for trucks, bearings or wheels? I plan on doing pretty much exclusively street stuff.

Thrill of A Lifetime

benyamen — Fri, 28 Nov 2008 05:59:56 +0000

Anyone remember that old CBC show “Thrill of a LIfetime“? No, this isn’t me having a Grandpa Simpson moment. It was kind of the original reality TV show where people would have their dreams come true as made possible by this TV show. It was usually reuniting with family members or going scuba diving and such. Things that we kind of take for granted now, but were a big deal in the 80′s when the show was on. It’s not as though I was a fan or anything, I just remember the horrible, horrible theme song that still resonates in my head like an clanging gong at a funeral. Which reminds me of another song which sticks in your head that you wish would leave you well enough alone like a mangey stray dog that deficates on your lawn: “Womanizer” by the infamous Britney Spears. They’ve been playing it a lot lately on BBC Radio 1 which I recently started listening to on my XM radio. It’s amazing how no matter what they say it sounds educational because they say it with an english accent. It makes basically everything they say a lot funnier too. Speaking of funny things on Radio 1 and “Womanizer”, my favourite new DJ Chris Moyles made a parody of “Womanizer” called “Lorry Driver”. I thought it was a funny song when I heard it and then today I actually found out what it was about. Apparently a “Lorry Driver” is the refined brittish way of saying trucker. It’s definitely worth checking out if you have a few minutes and want a good laugh. Anyways, where was I, oh ya “Thrill of a Lifetime”. I guess I did have a Grandpa Simpson moment after all.

Back to “Thrill of a LIfetime”. I’m not going to be on the show, seeing as it was cancelled long ago, but I am going to be going on a similar kind of adventure. This coming weekend I am travelling to Minneapolis to watch my beloved Bears play the Minnesota Vikings on NBC Football Night in America. So if you’re watching the game keep a look out for me. Normally the chances of you seeing me would be slim in a stadium that seats 70,000ish people but – and this is where the “Thrill of a Lifetime” part comes in – I am sitting front row on the 50 yard line right behind the Bears bench! Hopefully I can make sign that will get me on TV and you can all wave at your screens and say, “Hey, I know that guy in a Bears jersey who’s being beaten mercilessly by those Vikings fans!” I hope to get to more Bears games in my lifetime, but I never expect to have seats like this again. It will be a lot of driving in a couple days (14 hours there and 14 back), but it should all be worth it. If by chance I don’t make it back alive, Jenn has my will, and know I likely died a happy man.

Goodbye Brett: The New Nemesis

benyamen — Tue, 30 Sep 2008 05:48:54 +0000

Every interesting character has their nemesis. Superman has Lex Luthor, Batman has Joker, Captain Kirk has Khan, and I’ve had Brett Favre. Well it’s been a really solid relationship for about fifteen years now. Brett would throw the passes and I would hope for an interception. Brett would be sacked and I’d hope for a career ending injury. Brett would beat the Bears and I’d hope for next year. Allas, despite the consistancy we’ve enjoyed over the past decade and a half, all things must come to an end. And so it is that Brett Favre is no longer my arch nemesis. I know this must be hard for some of you to take. My consuming animosity for him, and his completely oblivious attitude towards me have been one of the few consistancies that have lasted more than half my life. It’s not just that he’s moved on to New York, although that certainly did change things, things are just different now.

There’s a new nemesis in town, quite litterally in town. As defensive co-ordinator for the Swift Current Plumbing and Heating Golden Gophers, I have had the arduous duty of coaching against a guy who’s name starts with ”L” and rhymes with tavern for the past two years. Rarely in my life have I ever encountered a grown man who could whine incessantly to this extent. I’m not sure if it’s a skill he’s developed over his lifetime or it’s just an inate gift but next sunday I’m going to bring along a tiny violin and box of kleenex I can offer him. In four tries this year the Gophers have yet to beat the Jaguars and I hate losing to this guy. These are eleven and twelve year olds who have been playing football for as little as a month for some of them and if it were up to him I think there’d be a flag for illegal procedure on every play we run and every hit our kids make would be whistled for unnecessary roughness. Most of these kids don’t even know what illegal procedure is. If you gave them a multiple choice question they’d probably answer : C. – “abuse by a surgeon”. And yet he feels it necessary to whine in the volunteers refs ears on every play and generally blame any adversity on cheating or a blown call.

Don’t get me wrong, Brett Favre will always have a special dark corner in my heart, but he’s only a memory now. My conscious and unconscious football angst has a new mulleted (I know it’s probably not a word) target. Stay tuned for the results of round five on Sunday.

Fantasy Football Anyone?

benyamen — Fri, 16 May 2008 05:31:04 +0000

So I’ve been playing in an established fantasy football league on sportsline.com for the past 6 years, and we are looking for someone to take over one of the teams from an owner that wants out. If you’ve looked at my “Benyamen’s Bears” tab, that is the page for my franchise in the league. It’s a great group of guys to play with some of which I met in college and others that I’ve just got to know over the years from the league.

It’s a pretty involved 10 team keeper league (you get to keep some players from year to year) that uses offensive and defensive players. The annual draft takes place on July 20 of this year, but we’d like to find the new team owner as soon as possible. If you think you’d be interested, whether you have experience with fantasy football or not, just send me a note and I’ll get you the details. There is a $13/season charge for the league hosting service on sportsline.com, but it’s well worth the price for the entertainment.